We made each other laugh every day, we goofed off an had fun. I know it hurts, my husband left me too. Scharnett-King warns this rarely works out. He was mean, angry and a totally crazy. How are you feeling today? Wow. He drove all the way home at midnight. Ghosting doesnt always mean the offending party is being intentional. Both parties have kids. But, it seems like that is when he is most truthful and that he is just waiting for our 13 year to grow up so that he can feel better about divorcing me. Still I feel compelled to tell you that I understand. If they're doing so out of a passion for what they do, for instance, their work can increase their life satisfactioneven improving their satisfaction at home. Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. Still cant believe after a year and a half of unimaginable pain and recovery, I went back to help. I suspect someone else has caught his attention. Mean while you no longer car because there just arent enough years left in my life to even care about. I forgave him as this exact thing had happened in my first marriage (all that he knew already ) he had convinced me that my ex was a looser and that I should never doubt or mistrust HIM when all the time he was covering up that he had no feelings or empathy for anyone else but himself. Next Monday comes and she again asks me to be there every night after work to do all the work and begins to belittle me when I start to question whats going on, she would often tell me I didnt care about the children if I didnt want to be there but by now its getting hard, real hard. Last night after 2 weeks of the cold shoulder and acting distant my bf of 4 years said hes leaving me. That word has been gone for a long time. Got obsessed with animal rights became activist. Its so hard because I love him and I am trying my best to keep my family together. You deserve better and just live better than he does. Youre alright Its been hard. I feel bad for those who do, because I dont even understand it. Hi Jon The devil has taken him or her over but it is up to you to be the bigger person and fight through it. Shell be fine, but I will be a mess. 2. Take care my friend it will get better and thank God you arent 58 like me I would often check in emotionally to make sure things were getting better First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. Girlfriend, wife, gay, witness protection program, priesthood, something. children. This I also discovered. That I am dead to him. I would always find pills in her pockets , on the floor, in her car , in her purse in our cabinetry allloose pills. My husband left me because he was unhappy in our (mostly) sexless marriage. What about when you discover hes gay..by discovering multiple affairs he has had? I also lost my mother nine months ago. it was no joke. My therapist told me she wanted her cake and eat it to. Catching up was fun, she was comfortable to talk to, to share life experiences with and before long we both felt the electricity we had known years ago was still there and strong as ever. May God bless us with someone who really loves us and cares about us. We got a house then tried for another baby. I know times have changed and lives have gotten in the way. My wife of 17 years left me while I was at work we were planning a trip to Disney with our 2 boys . I dont know what to do. Getting in touch with a professional relationship coach is one of the best things you can do in order to start taking care of yourself and living a fulfilling and happy life. On a recent vacation she screamed at a elderly relative proclaiming them evil for drinking a glass of wine. Seems he mailed her interior vibrators to enhance their sessions. It seems to me that what your wife has done is about her, not you. Well the local man who wrecked his own marriage got to her and then she was after him. I wish you all the best And how the friends of a man or woman who then leaves there partner for another is accepted. Read some of what I wrote I was married for 21 YEARS and mine did the same thing. The common age seems to be women in their mid thirties. Instead of moving on and doing whats best for themselves, they take out all their anger and sadness on anyone who will listen to them. This is tearing me apart. Hope youre finding a healthy way to pass the time and keep it great for you. Oh my God. Im totally breaking my heart, I never thought this would ever happen hes the best thing that ever happened to me. However while she was visiting her family her step uncle came to town, I was not there but the day he arrived she turned cold. I feel so hurt. me & my bf were 2gether 8 years & i found a conversation on his tablet telling a girl he loves her & all this stuff.. i was willing 2 work it out but he told me he hasnt been happy 4 the past year & hes not in love with me anymore & hes bored.. i was devastated, a total wreck.. he moved 2 PA with his family while he waits 4 the girl 2 move there in April.. we still text as friends but it gets really hard as I cant talk about his new gf.. i am far from over it but i do want 2 be his friend, possibly more if we can work it out.. after he left i started taking care of myself & all that pampering stuff.. well, i came 2 the conclusion that i dont want his a** back.. she can keep him, i hope they will be very happy.. im done.. he left him crying & pleading, left me.. i was faithful 8 years, i adored him, worshipped the ground he walked on.. i work, i just got a truck, im sweet as candy & i deserve better.. we keep texting as friends & sometimes we still flirt a bit but its not like that.. he played Me, the best thing that ever happened 2 him & im slowly getting over it.. i know im great & i deserve greatness so whatever dude.. ur loss.. 5. Dont be a victim . This is the second time I have been dumped under the same situations. I didnt understand it at all l would always tell him if you want to be with other people please jut let me know l do not wish to be a part of that. Thank you so much. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Cant sleep without sleeping pills or wine. I am pretty sure both girls will elect to come live with me soon. During the summer he became distand and snappy with both myself and the girls, resulting in him going to work and coming . Take care. He obviously had no intentions of returning. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. He left me and 3 weeks after he was already dating a girl. Any opinions? I am starting to realize no matter how many of her fav mags I buy her or if I bring her flowers or chocolate cupcakes for treats constantly, she will barely even notice let alone understand how hard it is for me to choke it back and make that kind of effort again. theycome to realize is this it! Only her family and closest friends knew she was actually dealing with a devastating situation that is all too familiar to . What Im trying to say is that it becomes about saving face. After about a week of begging to see my kids she finally agreed. Hi Kelly, how are you doing these days? I dont know how to break out and go figure, yes constantly telling me hes going to divorce me. We spoke daily our entire relationship and had never even apart more than a few days. You will recover and you will be loved xxx, Hi, But the truth is that hating him just isnt the best way to go. I am drowning in my grief. My grandmother raised 3 girls on her own as a widower at just 42. Then there is the one thats left out. Only single guy in my group. and there is hope. When he did come home, often after 9 months abroad, he would turn his back on me in bed . Turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me. He said no, that for the first time in years he finally had a best friend. Research watch for the signs and never settle for anything less than you deserve. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. For me Im hoping we can get back to normal but there is some doubt. Six months since I left him for another man. I am not trying to put your love down. Thank you for your comment and for visiting the GoodTherapy blog. It's Over. We did everything together, camping, hunting, fishing, holidays, and Netflix marathons of snuggling on the couch. My take, my experience, the one who cheated and left wasnt as committed When my wife announced that she was leaving, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Before too long the walks and talks became much more intimate and 8 months after we connected, she left her family. I have just left my partner of 16 years. Now after he left you what 5 months ago you still have his stuff everywhere and clothes and golf clubs. Nothing is wrong with you! After finally loosing respect for him I no longer feel the pain. It appears the more you try, the more you are rejected. Im sorry that you have to go through this, but all the pain youre feeling is valid. We didnt argue, had some physical relations which I thought meant she was bisexual. Since that day my wife has changed. My break ups I had a choice die, lay in my bed forever and lose my job, or take the bull by the horns and say I am a good person and I deserve better!! I have to try and stay strong for myself and my children but its so hard. Our new counselor really seems to understand our real issue, which is communication on a very big level. Hello! She tried to abduct our son from daycare and it only didnt happen because my daycare worker knew of my wifes history and that Im more of the primary caregiver because of her instability. You deserve to be happy, bottom line. And he had started the attitude of battering , after unsuccessful attempts to control the situation, I reported to his mother and that worsen the situation. I dont know how this pain is ever going to go away. Health not good. It just goes to show that when people are emotional can become defensive and only understand whats written in their own way regardless of whats written, from reading some of the comments. I looked everywhere and i sat outside of the area for a long time. I felt guilty and blamed myself. As the weeks turn into Month I am beginnning to think it was for the best. I hate being alone. I have someone that they work with that gives me info and all they do is talk about me and say Im a terrible mother and person.. Hi, I married my wife when i was 22 yo Spending time with them is the best way to get through this because they see the pain youre in and they will understand why youre so sad. Now I can begin to say, after roughly four months, that things are feeling better within me, but many things must be done with in our own for our own to fully heal. Thats were the acceptance came into play . I just dont understand why she would lie to me after all the love weve shared all this time. You see, self-help books offer a different kind of advice because they often offer exercises and other activities you can do to help make your life easier. I instantly felt fear, anger, and guilt wash over. Its these weekdays. I think on diffrent levels most of us suffer with anxiety, depression. Whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you, a breakup can leave you feeling heartbroken. He gave her money and bought her a car to keep her, but in the end, that didn't work. I am totally devastated. Are you real? He said he dnt wanna b wid her or even me right now. I couldnt stop trying to get through to her and kept begging her to stop. Everyone keeps saying mid life crisis. I worker steady nights for 27 years. Think Ill skip the newsletter ty anyway. Im 59 shes 49. Its all I can think about and its eating away at me. She wont answer my calls or anything again. Btw she is the only family i have here and i cant get past the fact that she doesnt love me anymore The list goes on and on, I did hold resentment for that and no I didnt tell him how wonderful he was every day, but I gave him a pat on the back when he needed it and Id set money aside so that we could have family time on the weekends and do fun things. I has been left with no rhyme or reason you can read my earlier blog. "I am in a no win situation.". She was also getting mess from her primary doctor as well. The only thing that changed was he was now having to pay for his own health insurance. She has quite a few friends and is self reliant. I found out she already had a rental before she even told me. They dont even have to contain a mother or father, they could be aunts, uncles, your step-family or even friends. Get on yur knees & Let him fight your battles. She will not put in any effort whatsoever and couldnt imagine being the same family we pretended to be all week on the weekend. Im so sad and heartbroken and feel like I gave him my heart for nothing, wasted 26 years of my life. The problem isn't your job. Research from 2018 suggests low emotional intelligence may contribute to the likelihood someone may abandon a relationship without warning. Hi I have been with my wife for 7 years we dated for 4 years and have been married for 3. So cold, so heartless and has absolutely zero consideration for me. I have been abused by my father, I have been in relationships where I have been abused for many years. Love has to be tough this is one reason no matter what you must not take her back . When he blames you for his emotional state, he is doing several things: He is failing to take control of his own life. We have always had a strong relationship, but I lost my job and she was just about to start college, I got another job with the government and was doing that while she was in school, yes because of this situation we did get behind finiancally . Just for leaving someone that i wasnt happy with. Living in forgiveness will free you from some of the hurt in your divorce and allow you to move forward more healthily.